i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
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