Porn is love you can see.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
