My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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