but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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