Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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