i think my mom watched the whole time
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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