P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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