I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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