I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize