I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
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There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
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When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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