The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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