does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.