So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??