Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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