He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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