I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize