I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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