She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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