i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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