? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
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i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
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She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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