Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize