Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize