I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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