We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Pappa wants mamma naked
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize