why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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