Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I didn't notice because vodka
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
