I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
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Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize