are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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