Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
