Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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