why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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