yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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