She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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