Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
