the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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