I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
