He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is dick and wine.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize