I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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