names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
