from now on my penis is your penis
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
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I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
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Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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