I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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