if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
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how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
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I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.