Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.