I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
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So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
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Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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