Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
