I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.