Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just found puke in my bra..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone