If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.