i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience