1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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