So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
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