Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize