Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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