I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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